Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Randomize
