You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
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