Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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