You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
