The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
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