Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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