it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
