I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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