every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
