And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Randomize
