omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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