Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
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