My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
