I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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