btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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