You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize