I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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