She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize