he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
