this beer tastes like vomit already
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
