I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Randomize
