First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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