Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
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Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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