i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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