No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
