i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
