Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
