I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
You were trust falling into bushes
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
