Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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