Pants 0. Shit 1.
i think i have two assholes
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize