What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
