K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
