You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize