Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
