Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Randomize