I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
