Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
