I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Randomize
