it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
