girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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