addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
tell me about the fingering
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
