We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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