Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
