Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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