She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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