There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize