Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
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