is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize