this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
i love accidental penises.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
