Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Randomize