shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
