her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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