U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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