No, drunk sperm still make babies.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
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