Pregnant stripper...not hot.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Randomize
