john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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