fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
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