you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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