dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
