Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
