Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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