You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
foreskin is a definite game changer
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
