There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
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I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
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Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.