so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
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Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
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I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?