You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
