he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.