Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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