Texts From Last Night

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  (240): View more from Maryland

  I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.

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  (240): I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll. http://tfl.nu/r0xh
  Replies (18) Good night (838) Bad night (3507) Order T-Shirt
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.

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  (815): i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight. http://tfl.nu/g0lm
  Replies (47) Good night (708) Bad night (3380) Order T-Shirt
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  worst night to have a conscience

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  (614): worst night to have a conscience http://tfl.nu/q3ht
  Replies (29) Good night (739) Bad night (4340) Order T-Shirt
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  (281): View more from Texas

  Thanks for getting me home last night.

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.

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  (281): Thanks for getting me home last night. (832): No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa. http://tfl.nu/wftp
  Replies (29) Good night (8892) Bad night (926)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.

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  (314): i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk. http://tfl.nu/227n
  Replies (11) Good night (4058) Bad night (809) Order T-Shirt
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  (214): View more from Texas

  I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."

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  (214): I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused." http://tfl.nu/qcvq
  Replies (12) Good night (11375) Bad night (936)
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"

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  (586): Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate" http://tfl.nu/hjnw
  Replies (6) Good night (1001) Bad night (3464) Order T-Shirt
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  (626): View more from California

  im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.

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  (626): im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again. http://tfl.nu/ai0s
  Replies (6) Good night (953) Bad night (2093) Order T-Shirt
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.

  (352): View more from Florida

  teach me your ways.

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  (770): he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it. (352): teach me your ways. http://tfl.nu/5pat
  Replies (6) Good night (2865) Bad night (719)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  ...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.

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  (205): ...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot. http://tfl.nu/jxup
  Replies (8) Good night (1324) Bad night (470) Order T-Shirt
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  (575): View more from New Mexico

  He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year

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  (575): He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year http://tfl.nu/6pry
  Replies (11) Good night (1261) Bad night (487) Order T-Shirt
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina

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  (440): It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina http://tfl.nu/iyhy
  Replies (7) Good night (507) Bad night (1216) Order T-Shirt
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.

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  (614): They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart. http://tfl.nu/irli
  Replies (7) Good night (584) Bad night (370) Order T-Shirt
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  (979): View more from Texas

  Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.

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  (979): Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log. http://tfl.nu/tdyo
  Replies (3) Good night (246) Bad night (686) Order T-Shirt
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  (928): View more from Arizona

  He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.

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  (928): He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart. http://tfl.nu/tciz
  Replies (4) Good night (890) Bad night (88) Order T-Shirt

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