The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??