Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.