i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.